Emerging on a New World, Part One: Doomsday Is Imminent (again)

My husband was raising the alarm early in the 1990s. Even wrote a booklet about it, which he distributed to friends and family. Our government was overspending—there was a hockey-stick graph that showed the federal budget shooting up in the stratosphere (a billion-dollar deficit!!), with certain consequences for the near future. We were in our forties at the time, and did not expect to collect our Social Security. Black Monday, when the Dow dropped by 22% in one day (10/22/87) was just the beginning: once the bond market collapsed, we’d be plunged into another Great Depression. We would have to start saving now: even stock up on commodities like paper products and imperishable food staples. So we built columns of toilet paper until we ran out of room and lost interest. Because nothing happened.

Around 1997, rumors about Y2K began. This would be an unprecedented catastrophe—payback for the hubris of linking the whole world in a network of 1’s and 0’s. Once every electronic clock in the world rolled over to 2-0-0-0 our mainframes would lose their collective minds and crash into incoherence, with planes falling out of the sky and money frozen in cyberspace, life-support machines malfunctioning and millions starving. It sounds crazy now, but I knew dozens of computer-savvy people who took it very seriously, to the point of moving to the country and storing up flour and ammo (like we did). Needless to say, the clock rolled over and nothing happened.

But the damage was done; everybody was hooked up to the internet now, and Doomsday predictions popped out blatting alarms with the regularity of wooden figures on a cuckoo clock. On the left it was Mother Earth crying for help as she was alternatively parched and flooded. On the right it was deep state, Illuminati, global currency reset causing massive social upheaval, stolen elections, martial law. Depending on which newsletter you subscribed to, the powers-that-be would make their big move THIS MONTH or BY THE END OF THE YEAR or SOON. And then, brothers and sisters, hang on, because it’s going to be a rough ride.

So . . . you think maybe it finally happened? Not with a bang, but a whimper?

As good as the postwar modern age has been to us westerners, with its abundant food and comforts and diversions, we seem addicted to unease. It’s almost as though we’re worried about having it too good. Not that there weren’t reasons for alarm. When I was a kid, the US and USSR apparently came very close to a nuclear showdown over Cuba. When I was in high school and college, two major assassinations and colleges literally on fire. In the 70s, a huge presidential scandal, double-digit inflation, an oil embargo, a general sense of “malaise.” That’s about when Paul Simon wrote

I don’t know a soul that’s not been battered; I don’t have a friend who feels at ease.

I don’t know a dream that’s not been shattered or driven to its knees . . .

In the 1980s, I was old enough to grouse about Kids These Days, but that was a pretty sunny decade except for media scares about nuclear holocaust and the ozone layer. Then came the 90s, when broadband access pulled us deep into the conspiracy weeds.

To my knowledge, though, nobody in the Alex-Jones fever swamp or the Greta-Thunberg eco-horror show predicted that a virus—mere scraps of DNA—would cut us off at the knees. Now I’m wondering if the collapse I always half expected has finally arrived. Time to head for the country, plant a garden, start sourcing a supply of meat from stock-raising neighbors?

Has dystopia finally come for us?

Probably not. And yet, there are some disquieting features about this crisis that I’ll have to work through in the next post.

Mother’s Day: No Laughing Matter

I realized something for the first time when my kids were of an age for sleepovers and birthday parties: dads are funnier than moms.

I might have noticed it in my own house if it wasn’t right under my nose.  My husband was the one to get on the floor and wrestle, start sock fights, and make jokes when it was time to get serious.  That’s not to say I could never be found on the floor with kids crawling all over me, but there’s something different about mommy wrestling as opposed daddy wrestling–a certain lack of abandon and goofiness.  My daughter would come home from a party or church event with stories about how Cheri’s dad had made them laugh while driving them to the skating rink, or how Leslie’s dad had played a stupid trick that backfired.  It was never the moms.  Mothers could certainly be fun (I’d like to think I was. Maybe. Sometimes.), but seldom funny.

Several years ago, the late comedian Jerry Lewis made a controversial statement when asked about his favorite female comics .  His answer: None, because women aren’t funny. That raised a stink among women, many of whom seriously protested that they were funny—which kind of proved his point, in a way.  I would say that women aren’t funny in the same way.  They can be witty (as my mother was), clever, sharp, catty, artless, or charming, but there’s a reason male standup comics far outnumber females, and it doesn’t have much if anything to do with discrimination.  Of those few successful female comedians (as opposed to comic actors), most of them are known for the mordant kind of humor: the biting, even bitter kind.  It’s because women, more than men, have a tragic view of life.  And that’s because of one thing: women have babies.

I will surely multiply your pain in childbearing; in pain shall you bring forth children. (Genesis 3:16)

The Pain

Of course, there are mothers . . .

The most common and obvious interpretation of this verse limits the pain to labor and delivery.  But the pain of bearing a child lasts a lifetime, and it’s a particular pain that fathers do not share.  We’re not supposed to mention it these days, but the peculiar pain of motherhood owes to some essential differences between moms and dads:

  • Fatherhood is by choice; motherhood by necessity.
  • Fatherhood is dogmatic; motherhood is organic.
  • Fatherhood is straightforward; motherhood is serpentine and multi-faceted.
  • Fatherhood is tangential; motherhood is central.
  • Fathers are distinct; mothers are intimate.

At the back of a mother’s mind lurks a gigantic fear that something could happen to her baby, even if her baby is 45 years old.  The world yawns wide for our children: busy streets and nefarious strangers, fast cars and bad company, drunk drivers, sexual predators, drug dealers, gang leaders.  A good father will experience these same fears, but probably not until there’s some pretext for them (no what-if speculations for Dad), and not in the same gut-wrenching way if they occur. 

. . . and there are mothers.

Also, from the day our babies are born we have to start letting go of them, and sometimes it’s hard to know when. And how.  It isn’t just a matter of teaching them to crawl, walk, run, and drive; it’s teaching ourselves to stop identifying with them.  They were us; how can they stop being us?  When does their behavior stop being our responsibility?  When do their choices no longer reflect on our child-raising skills?

The Gain

And yet, a great irony: The more a mother clings to her child, the smaller motherhood becomes.  The true joy of mothering increases with every step your child takes away from you.  Conceiving, carrying, bearing, and delivering a baby into this world is the beginning of the pain, but also of the gain: a mature human being with his or her own personality, gifts, and vision.  That’s the goal, and I challenge anyone to name me a better one.  No six-figure income or tabloid-worthy career even comes close.  Motherhood is a double investment in life: the opportunity to grow up again by experiencing its primary discoveries through the eyes of a child and the understanding of a grownup, and the chance to pay it forward with a human being who will make the world a slightly better place. 

If your grown child causes you more grief than joy (and a lot of them do), first check your expectations to make sure you’re not looking for Mini-me: someone who thinks and acts as you do and agrees with 95% of your political and theological positions.  (If you actually ended up with a kid like that, you’re either very exceptional or your son or daughter got swapped for a robot somewhere down the line.)

But say your expectations were reasonable and your child-raising skills were at least adequate.  What went wrong?  Maybe nothing; maybe it’s time to let disappointing children become themselves, and answer for themselves. Trust God with them.  They are still human beings with immortal souls.  Yours will always be the first warm touch they felt, the first loving voice they heard. You pushed them out and raised them up—this is the great human enterprise, and mothers are right in the middle of it.

That’s not funny.  But it’s phenomenal.

The Potential in the Pause

Looking out over the landscape, I see plans derailed like a massive train wreck, cars spilled in all directions. Some are huge: entire industries, like airlines and hotel chains. Others are smaller, but no less huge in their way: the senior trip, the anniversary cruise, the promotion, the book contract. The wholesale wreckage of plans leaves us stunned and confused, disappointed and devastated.

I had my own little plan, and now I’m as confused as anybody. Here’s how it started: twenty-one years ago we moved to five acres in the country because my husband was worried about Y2K (remember that?). I was less worried than he, but we found this place for cheap and bit off a renovation project that was a lot more than we could chew. Once the house was livable, we stayed and stayed.

After a few years, I decided I didn’t like this place. It has its charms, but nothing was very close, the only kind of internet connection we could get was dial-up, and after driving almost an hour to church (one way) once or twice a week, I was fed up. My husband felt differently, and let’s just say we had our disagreements.

Fast-forward about nineteen years, to 2018. We’re getting older—in fact, most people would call us old. My husband has just been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s, which accords with my growing suspicions, and though it takes a while to convince him—and he’s not always convinced—he’s coming around to my conviction that we need to move. Five acres will soon be too much for us to keep up, and we need to be closer to services, doctors, and help from the church.

Fast-forward to 2019. I have a plan. This year I’m going to start clearing out the clutter, selling a few collectibles, lining up carpenters and plumbers to make some minor repairs and enhancements. During the first quarter of 2020 I’ll be repainting, window-washing, and carpet-cleaning so we can stick a For Sale sign in the front yard by May 1.

Jump to February 2020. Problems have come up: the antiquated septic system will need a major overhaul, and that’s never good news. Also, the real estate agent has done a price comparison, and the likely selling price is way off what I expected. I’ll have to do some re-figuring and scale back expectations for what we might be able to buy.

Then comes March: real estate grinds to a standstill and so does everything else.

I used to lie awake at night, or wake up with a sense of dread that I’m stuck here forever. So this is like a nightmare come true, except—

It turns out to be not such a nightmare.

This property is beautiful in the spring. My carpentry plans are on hold, but I rearranged some furniture and my office and bedroom feels almost like a new house. We’ve been doing more together, like clearing brush and cutting the grass. In the evenings we read to each other. We’ve been getting more exercise, enjoying the peppy bird songs and hopeful spring peepers near the pond. I put out some flowers last week. I find myself thinking, if we’re still here another year or two . . .

It will be okay.

I’ve heard that people are getting too comfortable with quarantine; that it’s going to be hard to hop back on the overscheduled merry-go-round. The longer we’re stalled, the slower recovery will be, so the merry-go-round is likely to crawl before it spins. We’ll have to adjust to new speeds for everything, including the real estate market. But for now, for me, it was good to slow down and watch the slow golden sunset over our Kelly-green property line. The time will come to move, and all the old problems will still be there, and we’ll have to deal with them, and it won’t be fun.

But I am not stuck. I am paused, like the peasant girl in Breton’s Song of the Lark (my cover picture). In music, the pauses matter as much as the notes; potential hovers within, like the Spirit of the Lord hovering over the waters (Gen. 1:2).  

Besides, on the other side of all this might be someone who’s looking for a quiet place in the country.

By His Wounds

 Unless I see the nail marks in his hands and put my hand into his side, I will not believe it.

Thomas would not believe until he saw the wounds. Neither will I.

Wounds—cuts, gaping holes, buried balls of lead, burned flesh, even stubbed toes—focus our attention. Pain is a tyrant, driving out every distraction and pinning our wonderful, imaginative, creative souls to blood and nerves. There you are, breathing fresh clean air, thinking noble thoughts, enjoying the pleasant ache of well-toned muscle. And then you trip on a curb and rip open your knee and pain swallows you up. You are nothing else for that moment, or for weeks of knee replacement and rehab.

We can’t live very long without acquiring a few wounds—some of us, it seems, far more than their share.

Thomas spoke as one who was wounded. Three years of his life, poured into one hope, gone up in smoke. No, not smoke—screams and terror and rage. They were all seared by fear and shame, but there was probably some anger there too, anger at the authorities and the occupiers—but also at him. He let them down. He surrendered without a peep, didn’t even allow them to fight for him. They would have. They might have all ended up on crosses, but the better odds put them on thrones, judging the twelve tribes of Israel. They had seen him raise the dead—couldn’t he call up militant angels? He had stopped howling winds—couldn’t he stop howling legions?

He commanded demons, and then he let them win.

It wasn’t just losing, though. Thomas the realist was prepared to lose, and even to die (John 11:16), but not like this. Rather than go down fighting, they were scurrying like rats, praying they could escape notice while weighing their pathetic options. Their master didn’t even give them a choice.

Thomas was wounded. But so was the Master. Holes in his hands, a gash in his side wide enough to accommodate a foreign object. Why? Why mar a glorified body with the ugly remnants of torture?

So that we might believe and, believing, have life in his name.

Wounds pierce our little self-contained spheres and pin us to the real world, with its cross-grained splinters and rough, unyielding surfaces. Dreams denied, hopes betrayed, endless disappointment. Also platitudes: the bitter kind (“Who ever told you life was fair?”) and the patronizing kind (“The only thing you can change is yourself”). For some pain, there is nothing to say. There is no answer for suffering, to the one who suffers.

Jesus doesn’t answer. He doesn’t explain. He doesn’t appear and lay out Four Great Laws or Seven Pillars or Twelve Steps. He holds out his hands. “Put your finger here. Reach your hand out to my side. Stop doubting, and believe.”

It’s an odd thing to say. Can belief be commanded? It sounds like Stop thinking, and be. Turn off the gravity, and float. Stop dying, and live. The words make no sense, until they do.

When they do, it’s because an arrow of light has sped past our natural defenses and found our greatest, deepest pain, where we see the open holes in his hands. And by his wounds we are healed.

Ours to Build

The Parable of the Talents in Matthew is the Parable of the Minas in Luke, and it’s worth noting some important differences. A talent is worth more than $1000; a mina was equivalent to about three month’s wages–still a significant sum, but not in the high-roller league. Both Matthew and Luke place this parable during the week of the crucifixion, meaning it was one of the last Jesus ever told. Luke explains why he told it: because “the people thought that the kingdom of God was going to appear at once.”

Luke also adds this context: the master in the story was going away to receive a kingdom. And his would-be subjects had already rejected him by sending a delegation ahead to complain, “We do not want this man to be our king.” So the servants are entrusted with a not-inconsiderable sum of money to invest in a society that’s already hostile to them.

Matthew’s use of talents may signify the incalculable value of what we’re given to invest; Luke’s mention of minas could suggest our human limits of time and resources. Both apply, but we should also consider the expectant audience listening to this now-familiar story for the first time. They thought the kingdom was going to appear.

No, he’s telling them; the kingdom must be built.

I will build my church. And my church will build the kingdom. Not on her own, not without my name or the Holy Spirit’s power or the Father’s providence.

But the kingdom is ours to build.

I will build my church. And my church will built the kingdom.

I forget that. I think of Jesus coming with his angels to judge the living and the dead and to me that’s the kingdom. It will APPEAR at the sound of a trumpet. Now, with the world in such disarray, would be a great time! But Jesus’ coming is when the kingdom will be made visible and apparent; it’s being built right now. My business, every day, is kingdom business.

That business is easy to lose track of because it has so many facets: making a living, raising a family, performing acts of charity, serving a local church–all in a culture that continually proclaims, “We do not want this man to be our king.” That’s always been the case, in churchy, straightlaced times as well as in degenerate time. The world does not want Christ as king, has never wanted Christ as king, and will never want Christ as king.

So we build his kingdom. I don’t know why he does it this way, why he doesn’t just bring it. Bring it! may be what we mean when we say, “Come, Lord Jesus.” But he’s not going to bring it, he’s going to wrap it up as a gift to present to his Father. Or, to switch metaphors, he’s coming to place a bridal crown on her head and take her hand to lead her to the wedding feast. By then the kingdom will be built, the rightful king restored, the rebellious subjects subjugated. (For don’t forget the conclusion of the story: “But those enemies of mind, who did not want me as king . . .”)

What’s my part? Where do I build? My little section of this magnificent project seems small and insignificant, but his eyes are on it, and a cloud of witnesses are cheering me on.

The Difference a “D” Makes

Now he was teaching in one of the synagogues on the Sabbath. And there was a woman who had a disabling spirit for eighteen years. She was bent over and could not fully straighten herself. When Jesus saw her, he called her over and said, “Woman, you are freed from your disability.” And he laid his hands on her, and immediately she was made straight, and she glorified God.

Luke 13:10-13

I woke up burdened before I had to wake up. I am burdened by literal stuff—a house to sell, some valuable possessions that may not be worth much anymore, a husband in declining health–and also much self-recrimination (“Why didn’t you move faster on all this?”). I woke up sullen as a rock, impenetrable as clay. I opened my Bible to Luke 13, the reading for today, asking God to speak through the words heard and read so many times before. And here’s what he said:

Woman, you are freed from your burden.

It echoed in my head: not free, the more common usage of the idea behind the word, but freed.

Suppose the word was indeed free, as in, You are free. That’s an adjective, modifying me. It would suggest that I am already in a state of freedom, only my mental hangups keep me from experiencing the sensation of running through sunlit fields (in slo-mo) surrounded by butterflies and rose petals. What’s you problem, girl? Don’t you know all that dead weight you’re carrying is crap that the world (along with relatives, dependents, friends, bosses, etc.) loaded on you? Sweep out all that junk and be who you are—free!

But Jesus didn’t say that. “You are freed,” he said (“set free” in the NIV). Freed is a past participle, indicating action. And not my action. Someone else had to do something to bring it about. This bent woman, that blind man, this dead girl, that demon-possessed boy were all bearing, not just disability, but the widespread consequences of sin. “Satan has kept her bound,” said One who ought to know. And all were freed.

But what happened to their disabilities, their burdens? If “freed” is a verb form rather than an adjective, they had to go somewhere.

Jesus was on his way to Jerusalem when this incident happened. And he was taking all the burdens there.

No one he healed was free from the normal stresses of life or the certainty of death. But all could be freed from the burden of carrying an ever-increasing weight all the way to the grave.

As for me, nothing in my circumstances changed between 4:30 and 7:30 a.m. And yet, I am freed.

The Good Infection

By now we’ve all received a crash course in infectious diseases and our hands are raw from soaping and sanitizing. (Have we ever been so aware of our hands before?) I’ve been combing the web for news, all the while reminding myself that nobody knows nothin’ yet, but I came across this bit of information that started the wheels turning in my head. I wheeled from science to theology, which is not as disjointed a track as some would think.

COVID19 is called a “novel” virus not because it’s fictional, but because it’s new. New to humans, that is; not to animals. Animals have their own viruses and are equipped to develop their own immunities, just as humans are.  As human populations adapt to the peculiar RNA sequences that make up seasonal flu, so animals adapt to their own bugs and blights. These viruses almost always stay within species. But sometimes one will jump.

That’s what apparently happened in a Wuhan “wet market,” a place where live animals are sold, and often killed and eaten on the spot. A bat virus jumped to a human carrier and—in unscientific terms—dug in. Because the human immune system didn’t recognize the RNA sequencing of the foreign invader, the human became infected. And before he (let’s assume he) even knew he was sick, he had infected a number of others, and they went on to infect others, and the thing grew and grew and some people died. 

One person. From just one person fever spirals out into the world, multiplying sickness and death and panic and enforced isolation and grim speculation about how many more millions will die before we acquire the immunity we need.

What makes this hyper-vigilance necessary is that the COVID19 virus is very quick: quick to spread and quick to mutate. Every flu develops singular strains, and so does this one: only quicker than most. Already it has developed at least two strains. The other cause for alarm is that it attacks human lungs and solidifies mucus, blocking air passages and causing asphyxiation. That’s why smokers, asthmatics and COPD sufferers are at particular risk.

Are you scared yet? Don’t be. Or, as beings better than I have said, Fear not. For behold, I bring you good news. We’ve already been infected by the most benevolent virus possible.

Take a deep breath. In the beginning we received our breath from God himself. And then we wrecked that ideal origin: “from one man sin entered the world.” The virus of sin is 100% contagious and in all cases fatal.

But after this had gone on for a few thousand years, long enough to prove beyond any doubt that the disease was not curable, a good contagion intervened. You might say that divine RNA jumped from heaven to earth, from God to man, just as an alien germ somehow bridged the gap animal to human in Wuhan.

The good contagion infected a handful of followers. Then a few hundred more. Then 3000 on one day. Eventually it spread, as fast as human feet and wheels and trains and planes could  take it, to the ends of the earth.

I’m optimistic by nature, and at the moment I’m hopeful about how long the present crisis will last. But optimism may not be warranted; those grim predictions about millions of deaths around the globe may come to pass. But this remains: “I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.” Death may be sown even in my small circle. But this remains: No malevolent virus can overcome the strain of divine life that infects a believer in Christ. So take heart, and believe.

Revolutionary Contentment

. . . not a call to action, but a call to being.

Luke 3: John the Baptist is the talk of town and country. He not only speaks like Elijah, he dresses like Elijah, and his words, like those of that fire-breathing prophets, send shivers down your back. All that talk about baptism by fire, and winnowing forks and axes laid to the root of the tree—no wonder people are flocking to him. Big things are about to pop, and everybody wants in on the action. But when they get down to asking about that—What do we do?—what does he say?

To scribes and Pharisees: Stop being complacent.

To tax collectors: stop being greedy.

To soldiers: cut out the extortion; be satisfied with your pay.

To people generally: stop hoarding; share what you have.

. . . that’s it?

He’s preaching repentance, aiming to present “a people prepared” to Messiah. And Messiah is soon to bear down with the axe and the winnowing fork like an avenging angel. The fiery avenger is actually what John pictures, and I assume it’s exactly what he expects. The message he preaches is a way to clear the decks and purify the righteous, before the righteous suit up and get ready to spring into action when Messiah comes.

But when Messiah comes, he speaks pretty much the same message: be content. He was supposed to lead a revolution–where’s the fire? Where’s the day of the Lord that burns the arrogant to stubble? When do we get to tread down the wicked? (All predicted in Malachi 4:1-3) Why is he talking about lilies of the field and birds of the air?

It is a revolution, just not the kind anyone expected. Contentment itself is a radical departure from the way humans tend to operate—wasn’t it a large part of the original sin? Wanting to be like God is, by definition, dissatisfaction with being human. Jesus calls us back to Square One in the garden. But when we look around, the place is shabby and unkempt (and whose fault is that?)

It’s still a revolution: not a call to action, but a call to being.

The revolution begins not with fire, or swords, or pikestaffs, or guns. It begins with personal repentance and builds on personal renewal and will end in personal glory. Any number of persons doing it together (the church) is a revolution indeed.

Like everybody else, I have my plans, my own Pilgrim’s Progress, and barriers to that progress make me frustrated and short-tempered. I forget that the real Pilgrim’s Progress is inside of me. Square One (which I have to keep going back to) is contentment. I can truly progress only from that point.

It seems so passive. Revolutionary contentment sounds like an oxymoron. But it isn’t. It’s a radical reorienting of my natural compass. It’s getting myself into a stance where the Lord can do something with me.

I want to move.

I may not be able to.

If that’s the case, the Lord can do something with my willingness to stand still.

Divesting

“Divest, transitive verb: 1) To strip, as of clothes. 2a) To deprive, as of rights or property; b) to be free of. 3) To sell off or otherwise dispose of.”

The word leans both positive and negative.  To strip, or to deprive: that’s harsh.  To be free of—oh joy!

If we’re blessed enough to live into old age, it’s time to strip.  And be free.

There’s a book called Material World: a Global Family Portrait.  The author/photographer went around the

Getting by in Tokyo

world persuading families to empty their houses of all durable goods: appliances, dishes, books, clothing, furniture.  The Ukita family stack their possessions as compactly as their tidy apartment along the sidewalk in front of their building.  The Natromos of Mali—nine kids and three adults—smile from their rooftop surrounded by earthenware pots and utensils.  Most of their clothes are on their backs.  In northern California, the property of Regan Ronayune and Craig Cavin and their two kids sprawls across their suburban lawn: tools, toys, and toddler ware, necessities and luxuries tumbled together.

Every American house is like a little American frontier: empty space to be filled.*  We tend to fill up the space we have, and then some—observe the boom in separate storage units.

What matters in Iceland

Periodic moves help to clear away some of the underbrush.  My husband and I moved 23 times in our first 25 years.  For our early moves we got all our stuff in a pickup truck and a VW bug.  For our last move, we required one-third of a cross-country Bekins trailer.  At every stop on the way to our current location we filled up more space.

As for our current location, we’ve been here twenty years—long enough for the tide of our lives to turn.  What that means is, it’s time to divest.

Reason one:  Stuff persists.  As the years pass, a kind of stratus-layer buildup takes place.  The file cabinets and understair storage areas and those closet shelves that aren’t easy to reach harden like anonymous stone.  What’s in there?  I don’t even know anymore.  Maybe detritus from my mother’s estate, or mother-in-law’s, squirreled away before I could figure out what to do with it.  Like bad cholesterol in the bloodstream it’s not going away and will make itself known at some inconvenient time.

Reason Two: My kids don’t want our stuff.  The inconvenient time may be when I croak, or take a serious turn for the worse, like a debilitating stroke.  That’s when my children, who now have lives and families of their own, get the unwelcome responsibility of divestment dropped in their laps.  In the old days, family possessions were handed down through two or three generations.  Daughters may actually have wanted a grandmother’s silver, but now—who uses silver? or much less, china?  Not only is cheap merchandise readily available, but tastes have broadened.  Don’t assume your kids want your four-poster or steamer trunk.  Ask if they do.  If the response is less than enthusiastic, dump it.  Let them miss you for your thoughtfulness and personality, not for the job you saddled them with.

Reason Three:  The direction is toward less, not more.  Tiny houses may be a short-lived fad (easier to

Content in Mali

admire than to actually live in), but the culture is scaling down, for reasons not entirely good.  (It’s fine to want to get by with less stuff; not so fine to get by with fewer babies).  For now, though, that’s the trend: digital vs. material, disposable vs. durable, temporary vs. permanent.

Reason Four: Freedom.  Old age is the time to go deep rather than wide.  To spend down portfolios and build relationships.  To men what’s broken and appreciate what isn’t.  To number the days and spend them wisely.  Possessions become a burden the minute you no longer need them, or when your arthritic hands can’t wrangle the scissors or your fumbling brain can’t remember how to use the tools.  I’m not that old yet, but it’s time to start loosening my grip, singer by finger.  Soon enough I’ll have to let go.

Divest.  Do it while you’re still able.  Then enjoy your freedom.

 

*Meaning no disrespect to Native Americans; I know they were here first.  But they didn’t fill up the place.

Thanks to Sarah

Sarah Josepha Hale—who remembers her?  Actually, we all do, indirectly, for two reasons.  One is our annual Thanksgiving on the fourth Thursday of November.  The second I’ll get to later.

Even without Thanksgiving, she left her mark on American history, largely by having the sense to look around her, take stock of what she had, and be grateful for it.  In time she gave hundreds of American women reason to be grateful too.

A girl growing up in the early days of the 19th century didn’t have too many options, even in forward-looking, erudite New England.  A smattering of education, if she was lucky.  A considerate husband, if luckier still.  Healthy children who lived past their infancy—jackpot.  Though Sarah later wrote little about her father, she credited her mother with a strong mind and her Dartmouth-educated older brother with sharing some of his instruction.  The rest of her education was the Bible and classical English authors, the base from which she started her own school for ladies in Newport, New Hampshire.  A smattering of education? Check.

By all accounts, she scored well in the considerate husband department too.  David Hale, a moderately successful lawyer, shared books with her and encouraged her to write for the local paper.  In between babies, of course.  So she was doing well with intellectual stimulation, spouse, and progeny—until her husband suddenly died, “as with a stroke,” mere days before the birth of their fifth child.

A widow’s options in 1822 were even narrower than a young girl’s.  But if Sarah Hale had no funds she did have connections, and after a failed business or two she accepted the offer of an Episcopal clergyman to help start a women’s journal.  The Ladies’ Magazine, published in Boston, had its ups and downs, but caught the attention Louis A. Godey, a Philadelphia publisher who was looking to mine the untapped reserves of the women’s market.  He asked Mrs. Hale to come on board for a new venture, to be titled Godey’s Lady’s Book and American Ladies’ Magazine.  The cumbersome second phrase was soon dropped, and Godey’s Lady’s Book became the voice of American women for the next fifty years.

Sarah had two conditions: first, rather than borrow (or steal) material from other journals, especially overseas, she wanted to develop the talents of American writers by publishing and paying them well.  Second, she didn’t like fripperies or “high fashion”; her journal should be as high-minded as the editor.  Mr. Godey was fine with paying extra for good writing, but his business sense checked her puritan tendencies.  Women were interested in fashion, had always been interested in fashion, and always would be interested in fashion.  Hence, the painstakingly hand-colored “fashion plates” that decorated each number of Godey’s.  Sarah may have fumed, but got in her own licks by fulminating against tight corsets and encouraging women to pursue fresh air and exercise.

As the first successful women’s magazine ever, Godey’s Ladies’ Book used its popularity to do good while doing well—for instance, offering the first retail shopping service.  Every issue featured items women could purchase to be delivered directly to them, prefiguring the mail-order catalogue, which in turn prefigured Amazon.com.  While making money for the business, Sarah Hale used her influence to lobby for educational opportunities for women, including college, business schools, and normal schools (for training teachers).

She was very canny in the way she went about it, though: rather than castigating men for holding the fair sex back, she played to their interests: wouldn’t a husband come to appreciate a wife informed enough to share his business concerns?  Don’t all fathers want their children to benefit from an educated mother? And if a woman chooses not to marry, it’s silly to think she will squeeze men out of their chosen professions.  Elizabeth Blackwell, the first American woman to achieve a medical degree, owed much of her support to Sarah Hale, as did the Female Medical School of Philadelphia and the Ladies’ Medical Missionary Society.

She always said—and sincerely believed—that a woman’s chief place was in the home, but she saw that place as a noble calling rather than thankless drudgery.  She was, it’s fair to say, the Oprah of her day.  Who can tell how many women felt lifted up and encouraged by the earnest editor of their favorite magazine?

That’s probably Sarah Hale’s greatest legacy, in spite of her many good works and institutions she helped establish.  Still, she’s best known for is promoting Thanksgiving as a national holiday.  She persisted through three decades and five presidents until Abraham Lincoln, who may have had fewer reasons to feel thankful than most, wrote out a proclamation establishing the day we’ve celebrated in November ever since.

Two picture books about Sarah Hale have been published in the last decade: Sarah Gives Thanks, by Mike Allegra, and Thank You, Sarah by Laurie Halse Anderson.  The titles might give you a hint of the approach: the first presents a hard-working, determined woman growing old gracefully surrounded by her family.  The second makes Sarah’s crusading spirit the focus: a feminist icon charging the bulwarks of masculine privilege.  Just a guess, but I think the former description is more likely.  Sarah Hale’s activism, if that’s the word, was quiet, firm, and tenacious.  She worked with what she had and probably accomplished more actual good for women than other feminist firebrands.

Oh, and her other legacy: “Mary Had a Little Lamb.”